Life gave me lemons.

"In the midst of winter I found there was, within me, an invincible summer"

Lately my circumstances have suggested that I'm not where I should be. That I'm doing something wrong or missing something because nothing seems to be turning out right. I've been so intensely focused on the subject of caring lately because I feel like those who did care turn out to be those who don't really...at all. Whether that's true or not isn't the point.

I think sometimes God brings you to low points just so that He can prove to you that He's capable of bringing you out of them. I have never felt so low since I can remember, but I also didn't realize until now that I have everything in my reach to feel so incredibly high. God is great. And I am so blessed!

I don't think I've ever really been able to see and appreciate the true friends I have and the people who care about me more than I understand. I think for a lot of my life, I've been looking for a best friend and in the process, missing all the ones that I've collected over the years. It's kind of like that one story, about a man hanging on to a rock for dear life in the middle of a river - as boat after boat rows by, he yells out, "No! I asked for God to save me, and He will!" Well, it goes something like that.

The point is, I have a God who loves me incomprehensibly, a family that would kill to make me happy (not literally), and some amazing friends who, I think, would do anything for me. ... Mmmm. I'm so overwhelmed.

In addition to all this, I've also been thinking about happiness recently. You know how you'll pass some people and you can just tell they're happy by the outward glow they radiate? You know that person had a great day, and they're ecstatic about it. I started wondering why I haven't had a day that would cause me to look the same way. Not that I'm unhappy, because I'm definitely not unhappy, but I would classify myself as being content, on a very level plane of emotion or state of being. Which is great! But at the same time, I was unhappy at my lack of...ecstatic moments, if you will.
But I dunno. As I was sitting in my friend's room tonight, I realized that my life is full of happy moments, the kind that literally make me hurt inside if I don't outwardly smile. Moments like...good conversations with  a good friend, satisfactory artistic creations, listening to those songs with a bass-thundering beat and not being able to keep yourself from dancing, running and sliding on your socks in the kitchen floor, laying in the grass on a perfect summer day and knowing you can just enjoy watching the sky for a few minutes....the list could literally go on well into the night (and I'm already pushing 2 am here).

I guess....sadness is OK...for a while. But it's useless to let the rough patches deprive you of living in the blessings you've been given.

If something is making you unhappy...throw it away! Get rid of it! Chances are there are plenty of other things in your life that can take its place.

Mandy-Pies